Reality Check

Its a depressing thing when I realize that its now May and I have done very little running over the last few months. In my defense I can only say "Life happened." Despite my best intentions and my best efforts, life became very crazy and hectic for a while. First my son became very sick with pnemonia for a month, my daushound who is my best buddy hurt his back and we were afraid it was the end for him, and my job became increasingly stressful and exhausting. I know we've all been there...by the time 8:30 (or whatever your "workout time" is) hits us at night, the kids are in bed (despite the size of tantrum they throw), the dog is laying down and in a medically induced stupor...you kinda want to make a rum and coke for yourself and then just go to bed and melt into the mattress. Thats pretty much what I've been doing. (Minus the rum and coke....most nights.)

But on the flip-side! My son is now healthy, alcoholic beverages no longer hold as much appeal, and my dog is now trained to walk on the treadmill with me. Yes, I said WALK on the treadmill. Thats the other piece of my joyous news...During my son's visit to the Dr., the issue of some recurring knee and ankle pain of mine came up in conversation. My son's Dr. (who is also my Dr.) told me that the reason why my knees and ankles hurt is because I'm running (okay, I kinda knew that) and because I'm overweight. Now here's a quandry! I'm running to LOSE WEIGHT (and reach other goals of running a marathon yada yada yada, but lets be real. I'm striving for that slim, muscular, "runner" figure here) So I'm running to lose weight, because I already know I'm overweight, and now my method of losing weight is causing me pain?! What gives!

After my flabbergasted-ness wore off, I listened to what my Doc had to say. Basically running is a GREAT way to stay healthy, (key word here, "stay") but if you are already overweight the impact of running essentially tears yours limbs apart joint by joint due to the excess weight you're hauling around. She suggested that I continue my exercise routine with walking, yoga, pilates, or some other "non-impact" exercise.

Not going to lie, it hurt a little bit....okay A LOT when my Doc said I was overweight. I know it wasn't any secret, and I had already known this from the beginning...But its completely different when YOUR DOCTOR calls you out on needing to lose a few pounds. She gave me a goal of losing 17 pounds before I continue running. This would place me within the realm of "normal BMI" and thus be safer for my joints and cause me less pain.... outside of the pain running causes anyway. That was 3 weeks ago and I'm proud to say I've lost 7 pounds! (Woo Hoo!) I'm already craving my running...its making me want to push just a little harder and a little bit more to get that excess weight off so I can continue this weird fascination/infatuation of self-inflicted blisters, road rash, sunburn, and listening to the same songs over, and over, and over, and over......

So I'm still here, life does happen, and I'm still running.

Running...a humbling experience.

January 21st, the first race of 2012!! Whoo hoo! Nothing too crazy, a 10k (or about 6.2 miles). No big deal right? WRONG!!! By my account, this run was significantly more difficult than my half marathon. First of all, I hadn't been training nearly as seriously as I should have been. After my half-marathon I sorta kinda totally stopped running for a month and a half....(oops) And didn't even really start to re-visit running again until 3 days before this race. I know, I shouldn't be shocked by my performance, and I'm not.

My thought process during this run was one of self-loathing and name calling (things like "lazy", "couch-potato", "psycho", etc....) Somewhere toward the end of the run, near mile 5, I had a revelation and it was as follows:

"I hate running. This sucks. Its raining I'm cold. I hurt...I'm at the end of the running pack. I think I might even be last. ***turn my head to look behind me*** Okay, nope, not last....yet. Just that girl and Old Man Jeeves back there. (Those of you who have read prior blogs know Old Man Jeeves, his doppleganger was at this race too, I think it might be a requirement that there be one at every race...we will pursue this theory later) So long as I keep running I should be able to stay ahead of them. ***At about this thought my lungs threaten to explode*** Nope can't run, must walk. ***start walking, get passed by both girl and Old Man Jeeves*** Its official. I'm in last place. I guess this isn't all bad. People only care about who comes in first and who comes in last right? So really this is some sort of backwards honor...? It still sucks. But really I just ran 5 miles WITHOUT WALKING and had only run twice in the two months prior to this race. AND had an improved pace from 13:00 min/mile to 11:30 min/mile! Thats pretty freaking awesome! Lets start running again, I can do this!!"

So I continue running and actually caught up to the girl ahead of me and started running with her. We started chatting a little and I thought that theres might be a little more comradaree with the back of the pack vs. the front of the pack. At the back, we're all just trying to survive, not out-do each other. So "Back-of-the-Pack Lacey", here's my nod to you. We even made a pact that we'd cross the finish line together so neither one of us would have to come in dead last. The pact was cleanly broken once we caught sight of the finish line. She left me behind. So "Back-of-the-Pack Lacey", here's where I say UNCOOL!!!

I did cross the finish line with a new race pace personal best for me. The previously mentioned 11 min 30 sec mile. But I also did come in last. Which no matter how you talk to yourself and try to cheer yourself up, SUCKS. It is a good motivator to not do it again though. So with new resolve I will be running more so I won't be dead last again.

I'm still here, and I'm still running.